Rain Rain Go Away (Come Again Another Day)
Adrien Agreste hated the rain.
He hated the way that the once bright blue sky would be concealed by gray clouds. He hated the cold that was brought on by the change of climate and the wet of being showered. He hated how it dampens a what could be wonderful chance to bathe in sunlight and how it slows down the pacing of the day. He knew what people thought of him. He knew that they think he’s incapable of the word “hate” because he likes to find the silver lining in almost everything. Unfortunately, he is capable of loathing after all because he definitely can’t find a silver lining on a rainy day. Maybe it’s due to his jaded perception, but frankly, there just isn’t one.
Adrien Agreste hated the rain because it was raining the day his father entered his room, looking the most horrified and devastated he has ever seen. He could still remember that day like it was yesterday: the slow and calculated steps his father made towards him, the icy lost expression in his eyes, and the words that shattered Adrien’s life forever. Adrien Agreste hated the rain because it was raining when his world tilted upside down. It was raining the day his mother disappeared.
Years later, he thought he could move past it but he can’t. His relationship with his father detoriated further and so did his relationship with the rain.
When he received the black cat miraculous, he found a ticket to his freedom. It may grant him only temporary occassions but if he was given the chance to breathe and leave his depressing life behind even for just a few hours, he jumped at it. So when he donned the mask, he was no longer Adrien Agreste, the broken boy with the perfect image, he was Chat Noir, the hero of Paris.
He loved saving people, serving his city alongside the love of his life. He loved being free from the confinement of his prison of a mansion and the restraints of his reputation and responsibilities as a teen model. He loved being with the miraculous Ladybug who accepted him for his flawed persona. He loved being able to jump from one building to another, laughing without a care in the world, throwing all his problems out of the window and actually live. He loved the priveleges that was tied to the ring but all of those things still did nothing about his hatred for the rain. He still abhors it with every fiber of his being. In fact, more so now that he seems to manifest some parts of a cat’s nature and one of them is not being a fan of water.
Chat Noir hated the rain because that was the day that Ladybug looked sadly but straight in the eye and crushed his heart. After a particularly difficult akuma that they managed to handle but without a series of unfortunate mistakes and failures, they got into a fight. It was a battle even bigger than the one they just had. With three remaining pads on his ring and three spots on his lady’s earrings, they faced each other in a heated argument.
“You should’ve stuck with the plan!” Ladybug fumed.
“If I did, you could’ve gotten hurt! I wouldn’t know how to live with myself if I let that happen.” he defended himself.
“But we put a lot more people in danger because you chose to abandon your post and catch that hit for me.” He was about to say something but she refused to listen to him. “No Chat! Getting hurt is all part of being a superhero. When I accepted my miraculous, I also accepted that part of the job.”
“But milady—” She didn’t get it. She just didn’t get it, did she?
“Chat, you have to stop being self-sacrificial and think before you leap. You can’t just mess with the plan and run into your improvised ideas headfirst—”
“I was just trying to protect you!”
“Well, I don’t need your protection!” She snapped angrily and that’s when Chat Noir flinched at the harshness and the edge of her voice, a sudden constriction seizing his chest and there was a prick in his eyes and a lump in his throat. (Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.)
Of course, she didn’t need protection. She was strong, she was smart and she was amazing with or without his idiocy, possibly better without. What made him think he was actually needed?
None of them spoke for a little while until his ring beeped and her earrings followed. Ladybug sighed and softened when he brought his head down in defeat (and shame and shame and shame). Chat tensed when he felt her hand land on his shoulder and he refused to meet her gaze. He didn’t want to see any more of her disappointment.
“Chat,” she called softly, the gentleness that she used whenever she comforted him returning. His heart would’ve fluttered if she used that voice when she was talking to him any other day but now, he’s soaked in the rain and his heart was throbbing painfully instead. “Hey, I know you were just looking out for me and I appreciate it. But…Paris needs your protection more than I do. What I need, is your trust and support.”
Chat nodded solemnly and swallowed but the lump remained. Ladybug squeezed his shoulder, making him look up at her and she smiled. “Besides, nobody makes a better team than we do, remember?” she giggled, hoping to ease the tension between them. It was the most wonderful sound he has ever heard.
When their miraculouses beeped again, Ladybug smiled and walked towards the edge of the roof that they were standing on. Chat Noir watched her with his fists shaking and his heart rampaging. It’s not fair. She doesn’t understand. Can’t she see that— “I’m in love with you!”
Chat Noir bit his tongue and immediately regretted saying that aloud. Ladybug almost slipped at his sudden confession but she stopped from her tracks and froze. Chat Noir never felt truer terror at the silence that reigned after his impulsive action. Stupid! He shouldn’t have said that! A part of him rejoiced for finally coming clean and hoping that now she knows that all his flirting and endearments and protection for her are all just fruit of his feelings for her. Because Chat Noir is hopelessly head-over-heels in love with Ladybug, and there’s all that there is to it.
Ladybug spun and maybe it was just the rain blurring his view or making the mood dramatic and bleak but Chat Noir felt his heart sink when he stared at her cerulean blue eyes—eyes that were always full of wonder and hope that he loved the most—which held nothing but sadness in them. After a few seconds of opening and closing her mouth, she struck the final blow of a rainy day. “I’m sorry Chat Noir.”
Chat Noir stood there, watching as his beloved leaped away leaving him alone on the roof, tears falling, body shivering, and heart cracked in two.
After the rejection, Adrien became open to how he despised the rain. The week that followed was the worst one he ever had. His signature smile replaced by a somber face that almost made everybody think he was mourning for somebody’s death. (He was mourning for his heart.) He went on with his day like a zombie and he knew about all the worried glances that his classmates and friends threw at him. He dodged Nino’s questions, Alya’s journalistic skills, and Chloe’s attempts of “cheering him up.” Plagg was sympathetic and kept his nagging to a minimum. He loved his chosen and it hurts him to see Adrien hurting like this. Still, he kept his mouth shut about his knowledge because his meddling with mortals’ love lives will earn nothing but Tikki’s fury.
Friday came and even his teachers had given up on trying to know what was going on with him. They were dismissed for the day and he was packing his things, already itching to transform and run across rooftops for the rest of the day, when somebody bumped into his back that almost made him topple over if it weren’t for the desk in front of him.
“Eek!” somebody squeaked. “I’m s-so sorry Adrien! I d-didn’t mean to jump you—I mean, b-bump into you!”
Adrien turned around and saw a very flushed and stuttering Marinette behind him as she profusely apologized. “I-It’s just that I’m so clumsy and you’re right in front of me—I-I’m not saying i-it’s your fault! You’re amazing! I-I mean no! I-I mean yes! B-But I tripped! A-And I really hope I didn’t hurt you—”
Her eyes widened. “O-Oh no! I didn’t hurt you right?! I didn’t leave any marks on your gorgeous face—I mean normal face that will make you miss photoshoots? A-Are you okay? I’m so so so sorry! I r-really didn’t see you and—crap, i-if your dad wants to press charges, it’s okay—”
Adrien quickly reassured her with a small smile. “Hey, it’s fine Marinette. I’m okay and there’s absolutely no need to talk about pressing charges. It was just an accident.” He closed his messenger bag and wore the strap. “How about you? Are you okay? Nothing broken?” he asked, half-teasingly and half-worriedly.
He noticed how Marinette blushed a darker red and started to stutter again until she settled for a nod and a wide abashed smile. Adrien almost forgot about what he wanted to do that afternoon. His classmate never failed to amuse him. “Wanna walk together?” he offered.
Marinette flailed her arms everywhere in panic and Adrien didn’t know if it was something he did or said that made her act like that. He wasn’t oblivious to the different treatment that he received from Marinette and most of the time, he’s bothered by it. He hoped that they were past the bubblegum incident and she no longer disliked him. Maybe it was because of who his father was and who he was. After all, Marinette was an aspiring fashion designer. Whatever the reason was, he just didn’t want it to get in the way of a wonderful friendship with the class representative.
Adrien was about to duck inside the car parked in front after bidding Marinette a quick goodbye when Marinette stopped him. “A-Adrien, wait!”
Curious, Adrien turned his attention back to her. Did he forget something? Marinette took a deep breath and a look of determination took over her gaze that seemed strikingly familiar to Adrien. Where did he see that expression before?
“W-We couldn’t help but notice that you seem to be going through something right now a-and…I just want you to know that we’re all here for you. I’m your friend, you can always talk to me,” Marinette said with a sincere smile.
For the first time that week, Adrien felt happy, felt loved. Somebody cared for him. A smile tugged at his lips and it was probably the biggest one he had shown since the rejection. “Thanks Marinette. You’re such a great friend.”
The peace didn’t last. There was an akuma attack the same day. Despite the dread that was gnawing at his gut at the idea of seeing his la—partner even if it has been days. Adrien shook his head and transformed. He was a superhero for crying out loud. He can’t just abandon his duty to his city just because of a heartbreak.
They were a mess. He kept as much distance from Ladybug as he could and they had trouble communicating. Ladybug sensed the air around him but didn’t say a word about it. If they used to work like a well-oiled machine, then they appear to be more of a busted engine now. Still, they managed to save the day. He was about to make an exit when Ladybug held her fist out for their traditional victory fist bump and looked at him expectantly.
Chat Noir knew he had every right to turn his head away and leave. He was still getting over her “I’m sorry.” He had the right to space and time. A selfish part of him told him that she deserved to feel the same pain of being rejected to let her know how it felt when she stabbed him in the heart.
But he loved Ladybug as much as he loved Paris. They can’t afford to put their people at risk just because he was still pouting about his unrequited crush. He can’t afford to lose an incredible friendship with one of his best friends either. Even if it seems impossible, he has to move on and settle with the fact that she’ll never see and love him the way he wanted. So, smiling (and trying to ignore the pang), he bumped his fist with hers. Her bright smile was so blinding and he wanted to hit himself for still being weak in the knees for it. He nodded a farewell and leapt away, the load lesser than before.
They were going to be okay.
That night, after recharging Plagg, he was enjoying an evening of a solo patrol. He wanted some time alone to think and just enjoy the breeze and lights. He had no place in mind and let his feet take him wherever they could until he spotted a recognizable pair of blue pigtails and pink pants. He halted and her words earlier that day echoed inside his mind. “Maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to take her up on her offer,” he whispered.
She was immersed in her sketchbook with her tongue out the corner of her mouth, a thing she does when she’s deep in concentration that he found adorable. A steaming mug of hot chocolate and a plate of half-finished sweets were in front of her. Chat Noir watched her for a little bit longer, not knowing how to approach his classmate. Would it be too unusual and creepy for him to show up out of the blue? Oh, what was he doing? Marinette was Adrien’s friend. He was Chat Noir now and he only had very few interactions with the girl. But Chat Noir was also her friend, right? He never recalled a time when Marinette turned him away, or anyone at all. She was that amazing. Maybe this was a bad idea. Chat Noir looked at Marinette one last time. She hasn’t noticed him yet. He should probably go because last time he checked, this could be considered stalking, and stalking was illegal.
Marinette screamed when she found a set of glowing green eyes in the dark watching her after she heard a sneeze from above. Chat Noir screamed as well before he lost his balance in surprise and fell onto the balcony in a loud thud. Both of them were is the state of hysteria, Marinette demanding what he was doing there and Chat Noir spouting explanations and excuses. If it weren’t for Marinette’s parents who knocked and checked in their daughter, they wouldn’t have had calmed down.
A few minutes later, Chat Noir was sitting on the railing while Marinette was leaning against them. None of them spoke for a while until Marinette broke the silence.
“So…”
Chat Noir scratched the back of his head, sheepishly. “I’m really sorry Princess. I didn’t mean to spy on you and startle you. I just saw you while I was patrolling and decided to drop by.”
Marinette smiled and accepted this. “To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from a superhero of Paris?”
Chat Noir grinned at her and took her hand to drop a chaste kiss on the back of it. “Can’t this cat visit his favorite civilian?”
Marinette rolled her eyes and Chat chuckled. He felt lighter. Marinette always had that magic touch with people. Though he never admitted it to anyone but she was someone who he drew comfort from. There was just something about her that made him gravitate towards her and he didn’t mind one bit.
They spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing about random things. Marinette groaned at his puns and jokes while Chat Noir listened to her ramble about her designs. For hours, they trapped themselves inside a bubble where he could forget about Ladybug, his hole life, and rainy days. Her company was just what he needed that night and it meant the world to him. When they decided to call it a night, Chat Noir pulled her in for a hug. When Marinette asked what it was for, Chat just squeezed her tighter and he hoped it delivered his gratitude.
The next week, Adrien’s mood became better. He smiled a bit more and joined conversations with other people. His friends were glad to see that he’s no longer brooding. He wasn’t fully over Ladybug’s rejection nor was his heart any close to healing but he basked in the warmth of Marinette’s reminder. He was cared for and he was loved.
The next time he paid her a visit, he was being bugged by the possibility—the reality of Ladybug loving somebody else. There was another akuma attack that day. It was a girl who was pining over a guy and never had the courage to tell him until she was too late since the guy seemed to be interested with someone else. Chat Noir couldn’t help but feel his heart twinge in hurt because he knew how she must’ve felt. He understood the feeling of feelings that are not reciprocated. He made a move to console her when Ladybug beat him to it. He was more than shocked. Why? Why her? She had no idea what the poor victim was going through. He was the one who could relate the most so why her?
“Loving somebody just sucks, doesn’t it? It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world yet it can give us great affliction at the same time. But isn’t that how love works? Pain makes it a whole package. It’s all about taking a leap of faith, whether we land on cloud nine or end up in an abyss. The fall may hurt, like really really hurt but at the end of the day, we become stronger and wiser. Never stop yourself from loving and never fear pain because it will help you grow into the person that you are destined to be,” Ladybug said.
“But how can you be sure it’s worth it? How do you even know that?”
“I know how it feels like to love somebody far too unreachable. However, when it comes to love, everything is worth fighting for.” The girl threw her arms around Ladybug and sobbed on her shoulder.
Chat Noir was confused. What just happened? He knew how empathetic Ladybug was but that…that was a spiel of somebody who talked from experience. How could she possibly know exactly how that girl felt, exactly how he felt? Was she inferring from how she thought he felt when he got rejected? How—
That was until he saw Ladybug’s eyes and he knew he misinterpreted her. The look in her eyes mirrored his, it was of a longing soul and a broken heart. Everything clicked. She was in love with someone else.
That night, he was perched atop of a balcony, eyes cast forward but not really seeing. He couldn’t admire the vast starry night sky and the tranquil streets. No, he was haunted by the sadness in Ladybug’s eyes and the agonizing truth that she merely didn’t have space for him in her heart because it was already taken by an unknown individual.
He fisted his hair and yanked at it in frustration, muffling a loud cry. Stupid! Of course he never had a shot at her. He can’t help but be jealous of the guy. Who was he to earn such devotion from the most incredible lady in all of Paris? Gritting his teeth, he hit his head against his knees. What did he have that he didn’t? Clearly, he was the more meritorious candidate. What does a civilian have against a superhero? Chat Noir banged his head once more. Stupid. Ladybug wasn’t that superficial.
Sighing, he loosened his hold on his hair and rested his forehead on his knees while breathing heavily. His closed his eyes to stop the stinging. Chat Noir vowed to let her go because he couldn’t be selfish, he remembered. Ladybug’s happiness would always be his top priority.
“Are you gonna keep sulking there or would you rather talk about it?”
Chat Noir stiffened and whipped his head behind him where he heard her. Marinette was standing there in her pajamas and holding a tray with two mugs and a plate of cookies, levelling him with a concerned gaze. When he didn’t answer, she placed the tray on the table and approached where he was.
“Hey Marinette,” Chat Noir mumbled in greeting.
“Hey,” she tucked the strands of her hair behind her ear as the wind blew. “Is everything okay?”
Mustering a smile, he nodded. “Yeah, nothing’s got my whiskers in a knot.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. He could hear the uncertainty in her voice though he doubted she believed that he was okay. Marinette had always been so perceptive. Chat didn’t want to trouble her with his problems so he chose to grin and lie.
“Paw-sitive.”
Marinette knowingly stared at him, waiting for him to give in but Chat Noir didn’t change his mind. When that was the case, she smiled, an “It’s okay, I understand.” hidden in it. “Whatever you say. You hungry?”
Marinette walked back towards her chair. Chat Noir curiously peered over her form and saw the tray of inviting snacks. She picked up one mug and the plate and stretched it towards him. “Don’t think I didn’t see the way you’ve been eyeing my pastries last week.”
As if on cue, Chat Noir’s stomach rumbled and he scratched at the back of his head in embarrassment. Trying not to appear like a hyena, he accepted the treats with a grateful smile. That evening, he pushed the thought of Ladybug and her mystery crush to the back of his mind. He sat next to Marinette as they wordlessly drank in the view of the moon and the stars and relished in hot chocolate and chocolate-chip cookies. When he bowed thank you and good night (because hugging her was probably a little too much last time), she was the one who pulled him in an embrace, whispering, “When you don’t know where to go, my balcony is always open for some stray cats.”
Chat Noir would’ve been lying if he said that his heart didn’t explode then and there and he didn’t smile all the way back to the mansion. God, she was such a great friend.
Adrien loved Ladybug, he will always do, but he respected that it was time to be more of a partner and a friend to her and rid of his hopes of ever becoming more. During akuma attacks, he acted more professionally. He carried out with their plans and soon enough they regained their unity and coordination. If Ladybug noticed the change, he will never know.
Adrien hung out with his friends more, mostly Nino, Alya, and Marinette. He would make the most out of the time he was permitted by his father. Somehow, the four of them would always be down to just the two of them, Adrien and Marinette. Alya and Nino would oddly vanish without a trace. Adrien was fine with it, he wanted to get to know Marinette better but the latter was always awkward when it’s just the two of them so he didn’t want to make her any more uncomfortable. After his first two unannounced visits, he became a frequence to the her residence anyway.
Although Marinette joked about how feeding a stray cat only urged it to keep coming back and how insufferable his puns and antics are, he knew that they both enjoyed each other’s company. Marinette was a good listener, the best even. She always listened to whatever he had to say without prejudice and spoke sensitively and compassionately but full of depth and wisdom. There were times when Adrien was loaded with work and lessons that he was unable to come but Marinette didn’t mind and listened to him vent the next time they were together. But when he insisted to come, he would end up passing out on Marinette’s chair only to wake up with a blanket over him and food on the table. Marinette had a few extremely busy nights and over the weeks and months that they grew accustomed to the new normal, he would hang out in her room. Sometimes, he would give her the space to focus, but sometimes, due to boredom, he would annoy her and she would have to kick him out and put him in the time-out zone (the balcony where bad kitties belong).
Chat Noir never felt more at home than at Marinette’s. He was never hungry and he would pretend to complain about losing his godlike figure but Marinette would just shove food in his mouth to shut him up. Maybe it was because of the ironically huge but confining room or the dull interior of the mansion or just living with an estranged and detached father that made the bakery ooze with so much warmth and life. He loved being at Marinette’s because whenever he was with her, he was his most authentic self. He thought that when he became Chat Noir, he was free but when he was with his princess, that’s when he truly was free.
They could talk to each other about everything. It took a while but he opened up about his parents and lonely home life, his suffocation from always being in the spotlight, and his bad days. He listened to her gush and lament about her crush (who was missing out big time by the way) and rant about her dilemmas, supported and praised her whenever she showed him her designs, and frowned whenever she would slip up about some of her insecurities. The more time they spent with each other, they got to delve deeper into each other’s character, see one another’s quirks and faults, hear each other’s stories.
Plagg didn’t want to admit it but he adored Marinette. She obviously loved both sides of his chosen and she took good care of him. The kid deserved all the love in the universe. (Okay, and maybe because she spoils him with cheese whenever he needs to recharge.)
Chat Noir knew how dangerous their little rendezvous nights were becoming. Plagg gave him the wake up call. There was a supervillain out to get his head and getting close to a powerless and vulnerable civilian puts her in a precarious situation. He tried to give Marinette a way out before she gets caught up in peril because of him.
“Marinette, Hawkmoth—”
“He won’t.”
“But getting close to me practically paints a huge target on your back. If anything were to happen to you…I can't—”
Marinette smiled and held his hand. “I have you. I have nothing to be scared of.”
Chat Noir almost teared up when she told him how much this meant to her. And to hear her put so much trust in him made him melt. Chat Noir made up his mind that nothing was to harm Marinette Dupain-Cheng without killing him first.
They kept their meet ups under the radar. He didn’t mention her with Ladybug and Marinette did the same with everybody. At first, it was hard. Adrien would forget that he’s out of the suit and interact with Marinette the same way only Chat Noir would. But he got the hang of it. Adrien was a little disappointed and found himself wanting for Marinette to act around Adrien the same way she should with Chat. With Chat, she was bold, sassy, and witty. With Adrien, she was all blushing and stuttering. Maybe someday she would eventually warm up to Adrien, but for now, he’s more than happy to keep the real Marinette all to his Chat Noir self. Cats can be territorial after all. (“Kid, you’re literally the same person.” “Shut up Plagg.”)
Chat Noir will always love Ladybug, but now, he could proudly say that he was honored to be her partner and actually be okay staying in the friendzone. She was his first love and he will never regret falling in love with her. But it was a taboo topic whenever he was at Marinette’s. Weirdly, it was what brought him together with her yet he did his best to never bring the heroine up. He didn’t know why. He talked to her about his hardest struggles yet it seemed to be something that he just couldn’t bring himself to disclose it with Marinette. He’s not planning to keep it from her forever, but there’s a right time for it to happen. He just didn’t expect it to happen in a weather he was not very fond of.
Adrien Agreste hated the rain. As Chat Noir, even more so. It was because of the rain that Adrien got sick. It was because of the rain that made it just terrible for Chat Noir to fight in his state. A slight fever, an akuma attack and rain? Yeah, now that’s a recipe for Adrien’s worst day ever. Luckily, the duo stopped the akuma quicker than they usually did. After their fist bump, Chat Noir was ready to go home and burrow himself in his bed for the rest of the weekend but Ladybug placed a gloved hand on his shoulder and another on his cheek.
“Chat, are you okay?” she asked, worry evidently laced in her voice. Recently, she had become a little touchy with him. (They’re platonic, he would convince himself.) Chat Noir noted that she still had an effect on him but not as strong as before.
He grinned at her soothingly to brush off her alarm. “I’m as right as rain milady.” The nickname stuck and now it was just second nature for him to call her that. He sneezed and that didn’t really help his case.
“Chat Noir, you’re sick—”
Chat stepped away from Ladybug’s scrutiny and winked. “Nothing a little cat nap won’t fix. I’ll cat-ch you later Ladybug!” He jumped faster than she could call his name.
Sleep wasn’t much of a friend to Adrien that night either. For for the third time since he got the chance to faceplant on his bed and close his eyes, he was awoken by another nightmare that had left him covered in sweat yet shuddering in the cold. His screams bounced off the walls that Nathalie barged into his room the first time it happened. He excused it to watching too many horror movies to which she raised an eyebrow at and admonished him. She told him that she was going to log out and head home already and if he needed anything, she was on-call.
His third nightmare sent him to madness. Groggy with trepidation, he grabbed the nearest black jacket and woke up Plagg to transform. The kwami tried to talk sense into him but he was too stubborn and too shaken to listen. He needed solace, he needed warmth, he needed home, he needed Marinette.
Opening one panel of his glass windows, he dove into the night and hissed when he realized that it hadn’t ceased raining. There was no moon that shone on his path. If it weren’t for his night vision, he would’ve might as well plunged into pitch black. He stumbled several times and almost slipped from one of the rooftops but he kept propelling himself forward fuelled by a surge of adrenaline and necessity. His eyes were glassy and irritated, his throat itchy and aching, his nose congested and stuffy and his head spinning. The droplets that drenched his whole being projected flashbacks in his mind, his most painful memories, his nightmares. Must…get…away…
When he discerned the outline of the familiar balcony, he sprinted faster. He clicked his baton and it extended, catapulting him towards it. The wind slapped the skin of his face that was exposed and that’s when all the strength he had seemed to wear off and his bones to melt. He smacked against the concrete floor and he groaned as the bullets of water landed directly on his face now. He attempted to push himself up but he was nothing but a sack of potatoes. Dark spots clouded his vision and he was ready to drown in slumber.
He was home and that was all that mattered.
—
this turned out to be longer than I expected so there’s a second part! this is the very first fan fiction i have written in my entire life so please be kind. thanks for reading!
ruinedchildhood
