Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
Pro tip: Don’t do this if you recently applied for a new job.
bolded. just in case.
i feel like that pro tip is told from experience
Washington moragatorium, you stab ‘em, we bag ‘em. We’re having a two for one special, you dismember the first body and we’ll hide the second one for free! How can I help you?
body: you are dying of The Heat
me: [removes blanket]
body: never have you been So Frozen
me: [sticks one leg out]
body: perfect
Demon to my now exposed leg:
can i interest you in a tiny man?
yes!!
ok here we go
i love him! thank you for showing me!
crush dat stan!!!!!
not on my watch
What a great snack. Small but satisfying.
no, bad! Spit him out right now
Spit what out?
my tiny man spit him out or face the consequences
bleh
good, your life will be spared
My spoon… its so empty now
here try this
now die
the bmc kids playing would you rather
chloe: jeremy, would you rather date me or michael ?
jeremy: *nervous laughing* idk,,, thats a tough one !!! 😱🧐😜
chloe: how the fuck did you say the last part out loud
ruinedchildhood