Pidge: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Lance: What if it bites me and it dies?
Keith: That means you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, learn to read.
Hunk: What if it bites itself and I die?
Allura: That’s voodoo.
Coran: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Pidge: That’s correlation, not causation.
Hunk: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Lance: That’s kinky.
Shiro: Oh my god.
You are a naval officer closing in on an enemy ship. As you get close, you notice they are not firing back, but signaling you in morse: “For the love of God, sink us.”
I signal back: “Bitch me too the fuck”
When your mate’s snoring too loud…
“He’s been snoring for hours and I can’t get to sleep… What I’m gonna do is, I’m gonna hit him with this pillow…OK?”
“Fuck! Fuck Jacob get fucking down. I’ve been fuckin’ shot”
[Laughter]
“JACOB”
Imagine your otp
@royal-raccoon I feel the need to share it with you
Pidge: “uuhhhhh we didn’t draw that one…”
Soulmate AU - When something is drawn on your skin, it also appears on your soulmate’s (this time, with shenanigans and a silly reveal)
ruinedchildhood