As his transformation drops, Adrien drops to the ground and covers his face with his hands, bursting into tears.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Adrien cries, his entire body shaking, “Plagg, I c-can’t. No one cares and I can’t. I c-can’t.”
Plagg zips up and tries to wedge himself in between Adrien’s shaking hands, but is unsuccessful. He hovers in front of the kneeling boy instead, brows furrowed in concern.
“Adrien,” he says, worry evident in his tone.
Adrien just shakes his head in his hands, refusing to look up as he continues.
“I-I hate how m-my father treats me like CRAP a-and like I don’t even matter, and I hate how L-Ladybug always brushes me off, a-and I hate how I shouldn’t hate that, and I hate how I d-don’t get to decide ANYTHING for myself, and I hate how I feel like I’m b-being ungrateful for the h-help and e-everything everyone has done for me, and I…I…” Adrien sucks in a breath, hiccuping as he tries to take in air.
“Jeez, Kid. Calm down a little. You’re kinda freaking me out,” Plagg says, nervously hovering closer to the boy.
Adrien just rubs his eyes with the back of his palms, trying to laugh but all that comes out is a choked sob.
“I…I hate myself,” he finally admits, looking up at Plagg for a moment with watering eyes and the most heartbroken look Marinette had ever seen.
She wasn’t supposed to be there. She wasn’t supposed to have seen Chat Noir detransform, wasn’t supposed to know Adrien was the one on the other side of the suit. And she especially doubted that she was supposed to know he apparently hated himself. It absolutely tore her to pieces.
Adrien had started to cry again, his kwami helpless to calm the boy down as Adrien hugged his knees to his chest and sobbed. It broke Marinette’s heart to know she was part of the reason why he was so upset.
“N-No one would care if I quit, not even Ladybug. She’d probably be glad I was g-gone,” Adrien hiccuped. “I j-just m-mess everything up. I’m p-pointless.”
Marinette crouched down on the building opposite Adrien, tears welling up in her eyes. Did her partner really think so low of himself? Did Adrien really think so low of himself? The same Adrien who modeled brilliantly, was kind to everyone he met, had a dazzling smile and a personality that lit up every room he walked into? The same Chat who had saved Ladybug’s life multiple times, who was literally essential to saving every akuma attack, who flirted shamelessly and was quite possibly the sweetest person on the planet? How had Marinette not seen this before? She should be comforting him, telling him how highly she actually thought of him, but all Marinette found she could do was sit on the rooftop, half hidden behind a chimney, and watch.
Adrien released a shaky breath after another minute of inconsolable crying, looking up at Plagg again before looking away, towards the city.
“Adrien,” Plagg said, reaching out a paw to touch the boy’s cheek, “you’re not pointless. You’re Chat Noir, for goodness sake. You save lives every day.”
“Yeah, but Ladybug could do that herself. And besides,” Adrien turned back to Plagg with a frown, “what if I don’t want to be Chat Noir to feel appreciated? Or Adrien Agreste the famous model? What if I just want to be myself?”
Adrien wiped his eyes and stood up, brushing the dirt from his jeans.
“Let’s go home. Think you have enough strength for one more transformation?”
Plagg nodded wordlessly, and Marinette watched in awe as Adrien transformed back into Chat Noir. With a flip of his tail, he turned and leapt off the roof, bounding away into the darkening sky. Only then did Marinette release the breath she had been holding.
Adrien and Chat, one and the same. Who would have guessed? Well actually, if Marinette was being honest, she could have figured it out if she had only paid better attention. Maybe there were a lot of things she could have figured out if she had paid better attention…
Marinette tightened her fists at her sides.
‘I’ll make this right,’ she thought, ‘I promise.’
…
*****
a/n: I purposefully left this in a place where I could go on if i wanted to, but I most likely won’t. what would have happened is Marinette decides to make Adrien/Chat feel appreciated both in and outside the mask, and starts doing ‘random acts of kindness’ to include him. think of those shooting heart memes where it’s like “me shooting you w/ my love & appreciation” and that’s basically it😂😂
ruinedchildhood
