when i was about thirteen or so, my mother took me to sears to buy me pants. i went into the youth section and picked out jeans and dickies.

the act of trying to fit my fat, squishy body into something that would not go past my knees was embarrassing. but it’s doubled when i realized i was wearing the biggest size in that section, what was supposed to be my section. the look my mother gave me when i told her that nothing fit is seared into my memory.

so i cried. i cried because this meant i had to shop at the womens section. for some completely asinine reason, in my teens, i decided that if i ever shopped in the fat lady’s section, it meant that i had failed. at what? i still don’t really know. passing by the abundance of ugly, drab, boring clothes that the plus size section provided felt like i was in a funhouse, like this can’t be my reality.

but the pants fit there. i took no pleasure from this, and i cried again.

so that’s why i made this post. because the experiences that fat and chubby kids go through in dressing rooms is unique and so rarely talked about. i’m in a much better place now and have definitely embraced my fat thighs and hanging double belly, but i know a lot of us who grew up to be fat adults still have some pain we have to address and work through.

so again, this is for all the fat kids who have cried in dressing rooms. however your particular story went, i hope you can look back on it and start to heal.