[lenoreofraven]

Hawkmoth: Did you…did you just grab my akuma?

Marinette: Sure did Hawky. 

Hawkmoth: I’m going to guess this is another vent session for you?

Marinette: Maybe…

Hawkmoth: Don’t you have friends you can do this with?

Marinette: You are just like everyone else never listening. OK, my ‘friends’ are kind of trash. They dismiss any negative feelings I may have as being related to a boy. Lila comes in with all her lies - by the way, I’ve met Jagged and he never had a cat - then just believe her

Hawkmoth: Huh-uh

Marinette: By the way, thanks for the Nine Nine recommendation. Totally worth it. But how dare you not tell me we’re in between seasons and that cliff hanger?

Hawkmoth: You watched it all in a week?

Marinette: Would have done it in 3 days but school apparently is a thing

Hawkmoth: There are 112 episodes

Marinette: That’s only 45 hours.

Hawkmoth: You have so much potential if you just-

Marinette: Did get me thinking. Why not akumatise a thief or a corrupt cop or someone who already had the skills to take a miraculous?

Hawkmoth: Usually if they’re competent they may just take it for themselves

Marinette: OK, ok, but surely that is still a better bet than, say, sending a baby

Hawkmoth: You are still on that?

Marinette: Seriously, why? And why twice? Why -

Hawkmoth: It’s about opportunity

Marinette: I miss the old you. Back when you were all ‘you have potential’ and ‘I’ll darken your heart.’ Now you’re just all ‘blah, blah, this conversation is boring blah blah’

Hawkmoth: If you aren’t going to let me akumatise you can I go?

Marinette: Can I just finish venting first?

Hawkmoth: …..Fine. But when I akumatise your parents next week it’s on you

Marinette: Nah, they won’t fall for it, but fine. Dad is annoying anyway. Last night Chat just crashes onto my roof and because I’m spooked I just tell him I love him. So dad sees this and decides to invite him to breakfast

Hawkmoth: So, you are venting because chat noir, the person I am trying to get the miraculous of, is coming to your house, completely relaxed, and you’ll be spending time with him?

Marinette: Yeah, like he’s a hero, surely he would have better things to do

Hawkmoth: You know that is-

Marinette: I know, I know, perfect little agent. Problem is you’ve shown more emotions means stronger powers and I’m not super negative or want to hurt him so at worst I would just be like, I don’t know, the Piratcy. A pirate taking away people’s privacy or some really lame pun. Then chat would defeat me because, well, you always lose even when you clearly spend months on a perfect plan because you forget lucky charm is a thing or to actually take the miraculous or don’t account for decoys. So, is it even worth trying?

Hawkmoth: You are my least favourite Parisian

Marinette: So…have any love advice? Netflix recommendations? Good french toast recipes?

Hawkmoth: ….

Marinette:…..

Hawkmoth: Just be honest, patient, and respect their wishes. The Good Place is amazing and A Series of Unfortunate Events has season 3 starting in two weeks. Egg, milk, cinnamon, a tiny dash of vanilla, a touch of sugar, use Challah bread thickly cut, cook in butter. Chocolate in the middle if you’re looking for something more

Marinette: Thanks Hawky. See you next week

Hawkmoth: Not if the season 1 finale gets you akumatised first

Marinette: If it does, I’m so going after your miraculous