this problem isn’t that men “misread” signals (and even verbal statements), it’s that men are unwilling to accept what’s being communicated, because it’d mean they won’t get what they want–and they value getting what they want more than they value their partner’s comfort, safety, and desires. this is a matter of will and values masquerading as a matter of knowledge and communication. men’s “confusion” is their justification for continuing with what they want to do (and society will accept it too!), so there’s always a motivation to be “confused.” that’s the problem.