[a-zzurra]

lance: hi welcome to theatre, please state your name and why you’re here

keith: my name is keith kogane and i’m auditioning for Tomato #4 and-

lance gasping: you’re that ASSHOLE from calc!!

keith: no i’m keith and i’m auditioning for-

lance: i dreamed about kissing you 365 days for an entire year and when i finally asked you out you said ‘sorry i’m a vegan’

keith sweating hard: i’m keith and i’m auditioning for the role of tomato #4-