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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
angst-oclock
safaia-uta

Okay so this prompt is for you @taylor-tut <3

Imagine: Lance catches a cold but Does Not Want Anyone To Know. He comes up with ready excuses for any and all questions directed at him regarding his health, and he thinks he’s got everyone fooled. However, literally everyone knows basically from the beginning, they’re just humoring him because that’s less annoying than confronting him… until his deteriorating health gets in the way of a mission.

**Excuses including but not limited to**

Lance: *sneezes*
Keith: You got a cold? 
Lance: *huffy* Nah dude I just woke up and I always sneeze in the morning, don’t you?
__
Lance: *struggling not to fall asleep while everyone’s taking turns training*
Shiro: Hey buddy, if you’re not feeling well you can go rest a while.
Lance: *hurriedly sits up* What? Me? I’m fine! I’m the picture of health, see? *flexes*
Shiro: …you were falling asleep, Lance
Lance: Nonono I’m just bored see, when’s it gonna be my turn??
__
Lance: *pokes at his food*
Hunk: Hey if you’re not gonna eat that I’ll take it off your hands *hopeful grin*
Pidge: Wow, Lance, you usually inhale your food after a mission, you must be sick or something
Lance: o.o *starts shoveling food in his mouth* *mouth full* I d’knw wtyr tlkng’bt *swallows thickly (read:painfully)* I was jus’ trying to decide what to eat first y’know??
__
Lance: *nearly suffocates with a rib-crunching coughing fit that blindsides him in the bathroom one morning*
Keith: *toothbrush forgotten in his hand as he looks on in horror* Dude, seriously, go back to bed!! *trying to mask concern with disgust*
Lance: *wheezing* N-Nah I’m good, j-just choked on my spit hahahah–….
__

Bonus if, when finally confronted by the team, Lance gets so worked up trying to defend himself that he collapses from the fever and Keith has to carry him back to his room (grumbling and scowling but V. Worried!!)

taylor-tut

Omgggg you should totally write a full fic of this I would DIE it’s so good!

klance keith lance vld omg lance
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outsidethecavern
  • my nemesis: i'm going to hurt you of course but first i'll go after all of your friends and--
  • me: i don't.
  • my nemesis: ...what
  • me: i don't have any of those
  • my nemesis: fr.. iends..
  • me: yeah
  • my nemesis: you don't.. have those. not even one
  • me: nope
  • my nemesis: and you aren't like.. lying. for your own/their sake
  • me: no i genuinely just don't have any and i wanted to save you the trouble of having to start the process of looking into it only to find nothing to work with, so
  • my nemesis: oh. ah. wow. that's.. polite. of you. i guess
  • me: mmhm
  • my nemesis: this is like.. seriously bumming me out right now. are you.. busy tonight? oh. fuck. obviously you aren't. sorry. i'm sorry. wasn't trying to be insensitive. god. anyway. we're.. going to go to the movies, okay? i'm not getting any satisfaction out of.. that conversation. any joy just.. whoosh. right out the window. that whole exchange just truly ruined my current state emotionally and i'm.. getting you out of the house. asap
Source: greelin I'M THE NEMESIS AND THE PERSON WITH NO FRIENDS DAMMIT
angst-oclock

cute date idea

fartgallery

we go to an aquarium. you point out all the fish you like. i jump in the tank and attempt to fight them to win your affection

thorcepticon

But then you pick the shark, the god damn apex predator of the ocean. I go in there and try to fight it anyways. I fucking lose though because its a mother fucking shark and instead the shark wins your affection and you two end up getting married. That was 6 years ago and now whenever im on facebook I see how happy you are with your shark husband and shark children. I often think to myself that I never should have fought that shark but then I look and see how happy you are and realize, I wouldn’t change a thing.

parksandfluff

image


Source: fartgallery i'm whee z i n g lmao this is the best i'm the loser