How do I explain to my family that Brie Larson can hip thrust 400lbs without making it sound like the gayest fact I’ve ever learnt
HoW!?
Embrace the gay
EMBRACE IT
Are we gonna ignore the fact that she literally gets a cookie at the end as a reward for her hard work?? I mean, look at how FUCKING HAPPY she is!!!!
Yknow what? fuck it.
You’re LGBT and u love ur sonic oc(s) ????
And u wanna form a squad with a bunch of other gremlins and make art and fics for them????? and make it a collection (zine) ????
fill out the survey below and maybe this will become reality
I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:
If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count
I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.
Actual advice! Just yeet a goose
“You’re mad.”
“I’m *so* glad you noticed. I’ve been working at it for years.”
“Well, at least things can’t get any worse!”
“Wanna bet?”
“
I embrace what others fear”
“
You are not to roam in this forgotten place.”
“
Just the likes of me are welcome here”
“ I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I’d invade.”
“
How about a kiss? I hear you’re still single…”
“
Impertinent pig.”
“Is that a no?”
“ You’ve got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel - clucky? Well, do ya… punk?”
“
Charming singalong.”
“
The king has decided!”
“
Then it’s time for a new king. And I vote for me.”
“
I will not serve under a false king!”
“ oh, ____Isn’t this everything you ever dreamed of?”
“
Come on, baby, light my fire…”
“Anyway, cheer up. When we get to ____, we’ll be kissed by the world’s most beautiful women.”
“
Enchanté, mademoiselle. I’m __”
“
Eh, you’re better off without him. He walks funny. He even looks funny. People’d throw darts at him.”
“
How can you be so cold-blooded?”
“
I’m a reptile.”
“Quiet”
“Did you hear something?”
“No, I just want you to be quiet”
“
What are you?”
“
Frankly, we’re the reason cousins shouldn’t marry.”
“
You *saved* my life! Thank you!”
“
Well, everyone makes mistakes sometimes”
“
And now I’ll thank you…
“
“
Are you *sure* that’s such a good idea?”
“I’m driving”
“
*Really?* I’ll have to take your word for it.”
“
No, it’s somewhere in the forest!”
“
Is there anything your magic can do?”
“
You must rely on the courage of your people.”
“
Panic sweeps across the land.”
“
Eh… here’s where we enter a grey area.”
“
Where did you drop the sword?”
“
It all looks so *different* from down here…
“
“
You’ve been quite annoying, for a girl.”
“
Why won’t you look at me when I’m talking to you?”
“ Oh. Oh, I didn’t realize you were… “
“
What? Tall? Rugged? Handsome?”
“You know, I always forget that one”
“
Find them all and report back to me! Did you hear me?”
“Sorry master, my mouth was full”
“
Typical! Of all the evil creatures in the world, I had to find one with *table manners*!
“
“ I got three words for you, Birdy! “Dinner. Is. Served”! “
“
When I get my hands on that girl…”
“
Look at the sky”
“
Tell me what do you see,”
“ The heavens are sparkling with starlight tonight.”
“
That’s what I see through your eyes.”
“
Please… Don’t die.”
“I can’t do this on my own”
“
I’m sorry. It’s all my fault that you were hurt. I mean, I was rattling on when I should have been quiet. I’m no help to anyone.”
“You’re wrong”
“
I have seen it. And there was no place for me.”
“I wish you could see it”
“
I… I don’t belong in that world.”
“But you belong in mine”
“You don’t understand. In __, she’d only see me through their eyes. Not a knight, not a man, not anything.”
“
One day, I will be a knight, like Father.”
“I must find the sword and return it to Arthur or Camelot and my mother are doomed.”
so it’s a day later than i planned but this is the post i said i was gonna make. it will be a long post but DO READ IT PLS THIS MOVIE IS IMPORTANT
because it deserves it
okay
fucking
listen
this movie
quest for camelot
the premise
i sometimes call this movie the unofficial sequel to sword in the stone, but that’s not really what it is. anyway. there’s this knight of the round table that’s mean and selfish and wants badly to be king himself. see if you can spot him in the opening scene, hint: he’s the ugly one and so this guy tries to attack arthur but fails to make anything come of it. one of the other knights dies in the process of protecting arthur. ten years later, evil (ex)knight dude sends one of his minions (friend? sidekick? anyway) to go steal excalibur, badly wounding arthur in the process. evil dude does NOT get excalibur at this point in time, it gets lost in a forest on the way back. needless to say he’s mad. arthur sends his knights out to go find the sword, and zoom out to the countryside where the wife and daughter of the knight that died ten years ago live. the daughter, kayley, wants to go find excalibur and return it to arthur and become a knight herself. thus commences adventures.
the characters
kayley. oh kayley.
- i love kayley. she’s amazing
- actually 18 years old, so not like a fifteen year old going on a wild adventure
- smart, very ambitious, pretty
- loves her father
- “But I want to be a knight. Going on grand adventures, fighting evil, rescuing damsels in distress. What is a damsel, anyway?”
- has no desire to be feminine herself, but doesn’t devalue it
garrett
- cary elwes
- SARCASTIC SASSY LITTLE SHIT
- no really this guy is a little motherfucking bitch
- emo
- i love him
- blind, but he’s never treated as lesser for it, and its shown as useful in one scene
- a solitary dude, but very lovable
ruber
- the villian
- needs some help for that receding hairline
- and a manicure
- like bad
- needs to be nicer to his bird- sorry, griffin friend
- honestly im gonna let the wiki take over here because
devon and cornwall
- MOTHER
- FUCKING
- THESE TWO
- I SWEAR TO GOD
- the funniest characters in any movie. like, undebatably hilarious.
- they’re dragons
- i love them so much
music
- IT’S A MUSICAL
- sort of
- the usual animated movie musical kind
- has everything you could ask for
- has a bopping villian song
- has an upbeat hilarious song from devon and cornwall
- has an inspiring song sung by kayley about her dad (think like how far i’ll go from moana kind)
- has an epic beautiful and emo song by garrett about his life in the forest
- GORGEOUS OPENING SONG THAT COULD BE MY LIFE ANTHEM
- all the songs are lovely
other snippets
- steve parry sings as arthur
- villain attacks kayley and her family but like it actually makes sense. they know each other it’s not just random fate like stories usually are
- the ending is wonderful, like im not gonna tell you but the way the villain is defeated and what happens after is just. 10/10
- fuck critics, this movie is amazing
- “i was in the neighborhood, and i thought i’d invade”
- THE FUCKING CHICKEN. THE FUCKING CHICKENS. JUST. THE CHICKENS PARTICULARLY THAT ONE.
- i cannot explain how funny this movie is. i cannot. it is hilarious as hell.
- “i didn’t come here to be insulted!” “oh? well where do you usually go?”
- “FIND THEM ALL AND REPORT BACK TO ME? DID YOU HEAR ME??” “sorry master my mouth was full.”
SO WATCH QUEST FOR CAMELOT GUYS
AS SOON AS YOU CAN WATCH THIS MOVIE
PLS
Seriously, this is one of my all time favourite animated movies from the 90s and no one talks about it. So here it is. My list of reasons why it’s awesome.
ruinedchildhood