dbak-01
My school put up a special graffiti wall inside the art building so of course I had to contribute.
chocmarss
proseandsongs
i’ve made it my personal mission to annoy the living f*ck out of my friends at college but i’m running out of material. it seams i can’t quite make the cut.
A bike can’t stand alone because it’s two-tired.
If a clock gets hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen the mall.
Jumping off a Paris bridge makes you in seine.
Your calendar days are numbered.
A dyslexic poet writes inverse.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Archaeologist: a person whose career lies in ruins.
She criticized my apartment, so I knocked her flat.
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says “I’ve lost my electron,” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business.
What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!
You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.
If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well-known six offender.
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”
What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
PMS should just be called ovary-acting.
Pampered cows produce spoiled milk.
Learn sign language, it’s very handy.
I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.
You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy.
Dry erase boards are remarkable.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
is this okay
THIS IS PERFECT.
OH MAN I WILL PROBABLY LOSE ALL OF MY FRIENDS TOMORROW BUT I DO NOT CARE. IT WILL BE GLORIOUS. :D
chocmarss
stealingyourdreams
An ancient legend states that a man named Shu and a woman named Oma, each from one of two warring towns, met atop a mountain that divided their peoples and fell deeply in love. Although their relationship was forbidden and it was dangerous for them to continue meeting, the couple found a way to continue seeing each other in secrecy. By observing the badgermoles, the couple became the first earthbenders. Using their new powers, they created a great labyrinth which only they could navigate. This allowed them to meet secretly, while anyone else who tried to follow them would become lost forever in the ever shifting tunnels.[6]
One day Shu did not come to meet Oma, nor would he ever again. Shu had been slain in the war between their two villages. Oma, stricken with grief and sorrow, performed a terrifying display of earthbending power that could have easily destroyed both villages. Instead, she declared the conflict over and demanded that the two villages live in peace. The warring villages joined together and built a new city to honor the couple’s love. This city eventually grew into Omashu, the name being derived from the combination of their two names. The short epitaph found on the lovers tombs deep within the cave reads only “Love is brightest in the dark
This is a great and funny episode.
plaqq
ruinedchildhood