clairelutraAnonymous asked:
fake married au
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12 (you are here!)
She was screaming when Chat came to visit her that night.
Quite literally screaming at top volume into her pillow.
He tapped the window and waved a handful of DVD cases for her inspection when she stopped screaming long enough to look up.
Marinette flipped him off, throat stinging frightfully and lungs feeling like they were about to collapse under the pressure.
Chat winced and left.
Wise man.
She dropped her head back into the pillow with a fabric-y fwump and went back to screaming.
To her surprise, he didn’t stay away.
“The cat came back,” Marinette greeted him hoarsely as she opened the window at two A.M..
“So the cat did,” Chat said, dropping a plastic bag on a corner of her desk and sitting backwards in her spinny office chair, giving it a cursory spin before resting his chin on his folded arms and put on his best ‘therapist’ face. “So, what’s up.”
Marinette coughed.
“Who says anything’s up?” Marinette croaked out of her scream-raw throat.
Chat didn’t dignify that with an answer, tail flicking idly at odds with the intense stare he fixed her with.
Marinette caved quick. “So Ladybug asked Adrien on a date, and…”
Twenty minutes later, she was still talking, pacing the length of her tiny dorm and gesticulating frantically, sucking at a throat lozenge Chat had produced from the bag. “—an’ it hash to be absholutely perfect, she knowsh an’—”
She was buried so deeply in her rant that she didn’t notice Chat getting up from his seat until she ran into him, nose first.
Chat grasped her arms, voice warm as he reassured her, “I’m sure Ladybug knows Adrien would be happy with anything, Princess. It doesn’t have to be 'absolutely perfect.’ Calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down,” Marinette snapped, twitching. She bit through the lozenge in her fervor and swallowed the shattered candy, grabbing Chat by the shoulders and shaking him gently. “It has to be perfect. Has to.”
He blinked at her, shoulders scrunched up around his ears, and wrinkled his nose. “Why are you so invested?”
Urk.
Marinette let go, nervously glancing away. “W-well I mean… it’s Adrien and Ladybug, right? Of course I’d be invested in their rom—… date.”
Any good friend would be, or so Alya’d taught her.
Chat paused, before rubbing the back of his neck and going oddly pink. “…You have a point.”
“Right, and Ladybug just doesn’t know how,” Marinette continued, going back to pacing. “Which means I need to help her figure it out, and I just don’t know what to doooooo!”
The last word was accompanied by a spin and a flop that landed her face-first on her bed with a soft moan.
She sighed deeply. “Chaaat. What do I dooooo? …What are you doing?”
Chat tossed her a little grin from where he was setting up her laptop right in front of her, but didn’t bother looking away as he waved the handful of movies at her in explanation.
“Chat, now is not the time for movies!” she hissed.
“Au contraire, my dear princess,” Chat said, popping in the first disk and full-body nudging her to the side so he could lie on his stomach next to her. “Now is exactly the time for movies.”
Marinette took one look at the screen and groaned.
“I thought you needed date ideas?” he pointed out, oh-so-casually slinging an arm around her shoulders before she could even think to wiggle around him. “What better way to get ideas than from the masters themselves?”
Trapped, Marinette grumbled, “What are they even masters of? Being dumbasses?”
“Tsss, burn,” Chat chuckled, horribly unoffended. He hugged her a little tighter. “But no. Masters of having like fifteen million different date ideas.”
“Chat, I— Ladybug wants this date to be actually good,” Marinette gritted out as she tried to twist her head out of his grip.
“And it will be if you just follow these simple steps,” Chat nearly snickered as he let her escape the headlock only to snake an arm around her waist and reel her right back in.
Marinette wasn’t about to give up, but every attempt at escape just seemed to end with her a little more entangled. Finally, stuck almost entirely beneath Chat’s bulk, she grumbled, “Tell the truth: this is just all to get me to watch this dumb movie with you, isn’t it.”
“Guilty as charged,” he purred, resting his cheek on the top of her head.
“Goddamn it, Chat.”
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