Red and Blue make Purple

sealestial

a drabble based on this art by @trasshess

it’s sad but like, oops?

It takes two weeks for Shiro to return. He emerges from the astral plane or the lion’s plane of existence or where ever Black put him like it’d only been two minutes and not fifteen days. And of course everyone’s thrilled—because Shiro is there and alive and Keith didn’t have to unwillingly-yet-dependably lead them into battle. He didn’t have to prove himself. It’s hard to tell if that’s a good thing.

Everyone else is swarming Shiro. They’re hugging him and sobbing and telling him how worried they were and how they missed him and how he shouldn’t ever do that again, do you hear me?

Keith wants to say something. He wants to join in and feel Shiro’s skin beneath his fingertips and the solid weight of Shiro’s body pressed close. Keith wants it so badly that he aches, and that his hands twitch like they’re about to reach out of their own accord.

But—but he’s had dreams like this, lately. Shiro comes back and Keith rushes forward but as soon as he’s about to touch him, the black paladin disappears. Shiro comes back and Keith reaches out but he has claws and purpled skin and has to watch Shiro turn away in disgust. Shiro comes back but when they come together Keith starts crumbling into the dust of the Arizona desert.

So he can’t take that step forward. Keith can’t join the others because sleep is too hard to find without Shiro lying beside him, so he hasn’t been sleeping much at all. He’s been spending his nights training, trying to communicate with Black, trying to decipher Altean texts for any hint of how to get Shiro back. He’s been trying so goddamned hard not to think of Shiro’s whispered promise of “I’ll never leave you again,” that was murmured against soft sheets and sweat-slicked skin.

Keith doesn’t want to think of Shiro as a liar because the circumstances are out of his control. They can’t control the Galra or the whims of an ancient, sentient robot lion. Logically, he knows this. Logically, he should be wrapping his arms around Shiro and refusing to let go now that he’s returned.

It’s unfortunate he’s never been logical.

Keith is all instinct and impulse and get-too-close-and-you’ll-be-burned. Keith is twenty and he’s on fire and the match is getting close to the end. Keith is a pilot who loves a man who keeps leaving. Keith is trying so, so hard to be understanding but everyone he’s loved has left and the terrible, black feeling of betrayal is making a home somewhere between his lungs.

He can’t meet Shiro’s eyes when the black paladin glances over.

Promises mean nothing while they’re fighting a war and Shiro has disappeared twice and it isn’t his fault but Keith has so few people and even now with the other paladins no one understands like Shiro and—he can’t. He can’t.

“You said you wouldn’t leave again.” Keith sounds hoarse and desperate and almost-but-not-quite accusing.

“You said—“ his voice cracks. His jaw clenches. Promises mean nothing in war.

Keith inhales. “It’s good to have you back.”

Shiro exhales, and watches the red paladin abruptly turn on his heel and leave the room.

“It’s good to be back,” Shiro whispers as Keith retreats, his arms wrapped around their fellow paladins. They’re the only ones that hear him.

trasshess

OMG THIS IS SO LOVELY AAAAAAAAAA <3<3<3<3 I love Keith’s inner monologue and his stubborn emotional irrationality please give this boy something tangible he can hold onto forever.

Edit: Keith caution around others would honestly be understandable since it keeps proving itself that when he gets close, people leave. The thought of him trying to keep a distance around Shiro after he comes back breaks my heart so good

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.