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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
chocmarss bosstoaster

obfonteri asked:

Hello for your consideration: the Paladins meet the Guardians.

kcgane-deactivated20190222 answered:

okay, okay. i’ve been laughing about this for hours since you sent me this here is an amalgamation of some thoughts in Script Format: 

Allura: Paladins! We have an intruder on board!
Hunk: oh man not again. Do you think it’s because of Ulaz? One of his friends, maybe? Someone good? Someone - someone not so good? Oh no, oh no. What if they’re REALLY not so good and then- 
Keith: -HUNK. Knock it off. Get ready. We gotta move to stop these guys.
Pidge: Well that’s weird.
Shiro: What is it Pidge?
Pidge: The ship is detecting various different life forms but one of them is human. Part human, at least.
Lance: So there’s a guy out there that could be from earth?
Hunk: Like Galra Keith?
Keith: *shoots a pointed look* 
Allura: They’ve moving forwards, hurry! 
Shiro: Allura’s right. We’ll figure this out once we know what’s going on. 

-

Shiro: Can we….um, help you with something?
Allura: who are you? And how did you get onboard my ship?
Quill: we’re the guardians of the galaxy.
Paladins: …?
Quill: the guardians of the galaxy *holds out hands grandly* - the guardians - am I - hey, Gamora am I saying it right?
Gamora: Yes.
Quill: The guardians of the galaxy.
Lance: No we heard you it’s just, we’re sort of the…. defenders of the universe.
Rocket: *laughing* Wait. You mean to tell me THESE GUYS are apparently the defenders of the universe?
Keith: Says the talking Racoon. 
Groot: I am groot.
Rocket: Oh and what’s your name smartass? Keith. 
Keith: Uh… yeah?
Rocket: Oh it is - it is actually Keith. That was just a random guess of an arbitrary name that just came into my head.
Hunk: Okay is anybody else hearing this? Because that’s definitely a fake laugh. I’m just calling it right now. 
Rocket: IT’S REAL. 

-

Drax: *goes up to Allura* your ears… they’re HIDEOUS.

  • a few of the paladins find this funny because of the parallel to their meeting with allura
  • she is positively affronted  

-

Lance: Well hello there beautiful lady, your sharpshooter is here for-
Gamora: *twists his arm* -So much as breathe in my direction again and I’ll happily keep going. 
Pidge: *snickering* 

-

Groot: I am groot.
Pidge: Uh-huh. And?
Groot: I am… Groot?
Pidge: Haha, me too. 
Lance: Hold the phone, you can UNDERSTAND him?
Pidge: Well sure. I just ran some of his phrases through this computer matrix and started piecing together the language Groot uses based on the data I had collected. It’s actually really fascinating because even though he says I am Groot there are infinite results, for example-

-

Keith: *to gamora at some point* Nice blade.
Gamora: It’s no different to the weapon you carry. 
Rocket: No different- are you kidding me? Now hold on just a minute do you know what that is? It’s LUXITE. That stuff is the rarest metal in our galaxy! And some kid is just throwing it around. 
Keith: I’m not ‘some kid’. 
Groot: I am Groot. 
Rocket: We should steal it, you’re right. 

-

Hunk: this baby tree is adorable. I want to hug him. Can I please hug the baby adorable tree?

-

Rocket: What does this thing do?
Coran: Well let me show you: My name is Coran and I’m a gorgeous man.
Cube: My name is Coran and I’m a gorgeous man. 
Rocket: *grinning* My name is Coran and I’m a- 
Gamora: -Rocket, no.  

-

Quil: Do you have a cool nickname, too? 
Keith: ?
Quill: It’s just kinda the criteria for you know, being a cool space hybrid person with a complicated, sad family backstory. 
Keith: I’m a paladin. That’s all I need to be. 
Quill: Well that’s fine I guess but. Mine’s starlord, just so you know. 

- 

Shiro: Keith… are you okay? What’s going on over here? 
Keith: That tiny tree was doing some weird dance.  *staring at baby groot who is frozen* 
Shiro: …No it’s not. 
Keith: Was. Trust me, Shiro. It was. 
Shiro: Okay. *pats Keith’s shoulder and walks away* 
Keith: *turns away* 
Groot: *starts dancing again* 
Keith: *looks back and Groot freezes, leans forwards* I’m onto you. 

-

Rocket: You guys are like the happy meal. With your cutesy lions and bayards. Whereas we - we’re the big mac. 
Allura: What’s a happy meal?
Shiro: That doesn’t matter, because we’re not a happy meal. We’re the supreme special. 
Lance: Yeah! 

-

Pidge: Woah, you built this? Incredible. 
Rocket: Don’t touch that. 
Pidge: But it’s so beautiful.
Rocket: It’ll also blow all our brains out and I don’t know about you but I’m perfectly fine with my head still being attached to my body. 
Hunk: Wait that’s a bomb?! 
Quill: NO BOMBS. 

-

Drax: What a curious contraption. But why not just assemble this Valederian from the ground up? Why make tiny lions that join together in such a way? 
Quill: They literally just explained that and it’s called Voltron. 
Drax: That’s what I just said. 
Lance: No you said Valederona. 
Keith: Actually he said Valederian-
Lance: -oh yeah?
Keith: Yeah. 
Hunk: Hate to be the voice of reason here but no. Drax. You definitely did not say Voltron. Keith is right.
Lance: Keith is right?!
Drax: My apologies, it’s a very strange word. Let me ask again about how this Volterrican device works. 

hunk: so you're like. demigod? quill: I guess? but dad's a zeus personified and tried to use me as a power supply hunk: that sucks and then you have pidge rocket and hunk missing from the room shiro and quill: oh no imagine keith and gamora sparring with their cool swords dang drax allura and coran bonding would be heartbreaking and I'll probably cry gotg Voltron
thespace-dragon indraaas

This teacher is history.

prorevenge

Kinda long, but I got rid of a backwards old man from teaching sooo….

So back in high school I was good kid. As and Bs, all AP, top twenty, the whole deal. The point is here that I am good at the school. My grandma was a college History Professor and she raised me to be a lil nerd. I was not used to bad grades, she was not used to me having bad grades as there was some extreme pressure on me to do well.

This is where HE comes in. It was Senior year. I had already rocked through all my APs thus far with 4s and 5s, all I had to do was rock out my last few and I would graduate with 36 hours under my belt and be pushed into my sophomore year of college, heck yeah, less money right? This particular teacher taught AP US history, a subject I was well versed in thanks to the gma, one I should have no problems with. I went through the first test confident in my knowledge and not having read out of the book, my first mistake. Now it wasn’t because I didn’t know my stuff, but I digress. I got that test back with a big shined red F.

Needless to say I was frazzled. I did as any student should do and write better notes, convinced it was my own cockiness that brought my downfall. Still didn’t read the text book because I had better resources at home, so I studied the appropriate material in my grandmas books. Mistake number 2. Second test comes back to me with another shiner. I didn’t understand I knew my material! Rinse and repeat until midterms right before winter vacation. My grandma was livid. Absolutely furious with me for doing so poorly in history of all things, and demanded that I request to bring my tests home to study my mistakes for my midterm. But when I asked my professor said no because he didn’t want tests circulating around. My grandma called about twenty times and finally he relented.

I brought home the tests and she sat down with me, my text book, my stack of Fs and her books to drill the knowledge into me. She looked at the first test, then the second, then the third, so on and so forth with out saying a damn word, with me sitting in my chair convinced she was about to bring forth the righteous fury. She did, but not on me. “I don’t understand, these questions are wrong? Your answers are all correct to them.” I shrugged, just as confused as she was. She cracked open my text book to see if there was any correlation and bam. There sure as hell was.

Not only was some of the info plain wrong, but it dated back to before the fricking civil rights movement. That’s right kiddos, it didn’t even mention the 14th amendment, or anything remotely “current”. Oooo boy was she PISSED. She revoked everything she had taken from me as punishment, and stacked the tests and books together, and silently got up. The very next day my grandma was at the school speaking to the principal, and on conference call with the superintendent.

Let me tell you why this text is especially bad where I’m from. I live in Texas. The school boards and stuff are VERY strict about anything to do with race because they don’t want to be seen as backwards hicks, so all those inflammatory news stories you hear? Yeah they get taken care of real quick once brought to the attention of the right people. Mr. US “History” professor was done with by then end of the year. “Retired” they say. Sure okay.

Unfortunately he stayed on teaching the way he had the rest of the year and I did poorly on the AP because he wouldn’t let me study the right stuff in class. You win some, you sorta only kind win some.

Source: prorevenge.net someone stop mogi from blogging
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