illmamnim
lavacherries
not to be full of love but uhh *taps heart* there’s a whole lot in there
chatalyst
Miraculous Ladybug characters as things my friend group has said/done:
Ladybug: *completely drunk, in tears* I love you guys so much but I just know that if I wasn’t here you’d die in 5 minutes MAXIMUM
Chat Noir: I’ll get famous off of being a furry I don’t give a fuck
Marinette: *trips over sewer drain* oh fucking fuck me I just fell in a hole
Adrien: *while applying a zombie Link temporary tattoo* lets just do this before my dad calls to ruin my life. Again.
Tikki: *cocking an imaginary gun at me after I tell them I ate their leftovers* I’m usually a healer, but
Plagg: melted cheese runs through my veins. God can’t kill me. I fucking dare him to try.
Alya: you might as well just tell me because I will find out and then I’ll slap your fuckin ass cheeks for withholding information from me
Nino: most rappers, right? You’d 100% fuck them. They’re fuckable. Lin Manuel Miranda? You do not fuck Lin Manuel Miranda. You make love to Lin Manuel Miranda. You take care of Lin Manuel Miranda. Don’t give me that fucking look you know I’m right.
Chloe: wait she thinks that I don’t like her? So she’s perceptive AND annoying as fuck.
Gabriel: God didn’t give me power over others because I’d exploit it. Case in point: *motions to their 3 children*
Hawkmoth: the mentalist was my favorite TV show as a kid because I, too, would like to be able to manipulate people and then use it for my own personal gain. *gets told the mentalist didn’t use his power for personal gain* oh. Well I would if I was him.
ghostfiish
haberdashing
Guys. Guys. Calculating tips. Just. Look at your bill. And move the decimal point one step left. That’s ten percent. Double that number. Now it’s twenty percent.
$100.00 bill? $10.000. Ten dollars. Double it. Twenty dollars. That’s a 20% tip.
$67.50? Now it’s $6.750. $6.75? Might as well be $7. Double it. Roughly $14. You’re not going to miss the change.
Please. I failed math three times
awkwardmiraculousphotos
gothicglasses
larrymarmalaid
Like seriously I wish we had a more comprehensive sex education program in the U.S. You know how many guys I know who had no idea an unaroused vagina is only 2-3 inches deep? Or that the cervix raises up when aroused to accommodate dick? Or that if a girl is “tight” that generally means she’s not turned on and you’re shitty in bed? Or that the cervix has an entire cycle it goes through throughout the month where is changes hardness, placement in the vagina, wetness? Like, when you’re ovulating your cervix gets soft and raises high up into the vagina and your hormones get you really horny. It’s like natures way of moving the furniture around and fluffing the pillow for dick because it wants to get pregnant. And before menstruation, it gets really hard and low in the vagina. It’s basically inactivating it’s Facebook and saying “I just need some alone time for a few days”
Ladies and gentlemen, take a moment to learn about vaginas. Men, take an interest into your woman’s menstrual cycle!
U.S. Needs better sex Ed because I’m a 23 year old woman and didn’t even know all of this
Hi I had no idea about the cervical cycle.
God bless this post pls share it far & wide
Wow didn’t know any of th that
it’s not only america, you guys are complaining you had a shitty sex ed? well I had none, not even half a lesson on this shit so yeah
#sex ed is important you guys are just idiots for not teaching us
geekgirles
babyblueavenger
pinkbaron
More schools do this pls saying the pledge every morning is the most dystopian shit ever
No one forces you to do it lmao
^^^^^^
Lmaoo it’s literally unconstitutional to require kids to stand for the pledge. I don’t for multiple reasons and not only can no one can make me, but no one has even tried, besides just curiously asking me why. Like fuck no ones forcing you lol
“No ones forcing you you’ll just be in an incredibly awkward position, socially ostracized, and threatened by staff :/// no one’s holding a gun to your head though so it’s ok !!!!!!”
Shut up dumbasses
I mean, it’s nice you went to schools where they didn’t force you? ‘Cause… they’re forcing my son.
Literally. Every day. Threatening him, guilt-tripping him, trying to bribe him or shame him. I have been down to his school to talk to the administration multiple times over this. And EVERY SINGLE TIME I bring them the supreme court ruling on my phone and I remind them he has a constitutional right to NOT participate.
It never matters. They say “Oh, well, then he should just sit quietly” and I say THAT’S WHAT HE WAS DOING, and they say “Okay then.” And the next day he comes home and says, “Mom, today one of the teachers told me her son is in the army and I’m insulting her son by not standing for the pledge.”
This is an eleven-year-old they’re talking to this way. And he was the one who made this choice. He said he sees too much inequality in the world, and too many people in America are treated as sub-human, for him to want to chant ‘liberty and justice for all’ like it’s already happened. I didn’t make the decision for him. He said, “Do I HAVE to participate? Because I don’t think it’s right” and I said I’d support him whatever his decision was. And we’ve been fighting this guerrilla war with the administration ever since.
Just because something didn’t happen to you, specifically, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. How about you stop acting like your experiences are universal, all three of you up there.
THAAAAAAAAAAAAANK YOUUUUUUUUUU.
“lol you don’t have to participate” the fact that the practice specifically targets schoolchildren who are too young to know what they’re saying, regardless of whether the participation is voluntary or not (and it’s often not), is still pretty dystopian. They’re too young to pledge anything else by legal standards, we know that, and we’re taking advantage of it to make them swear loyalty oaths before they’re old enough to understand.
weedle-testaburger
ruinedchildhood