Red and Blue make Purple

Leo / Aug 6 / Fem / Bi / Emmy-Emmer-Em/ My Ao3 is Emers_Writes / Voltron / Klance / Star vs The Forces of Evil / Sonic / #sth / #svtfoe / Legend of Zelda / #botw / Miraculous Ladybug / #mlb / and just... a lot more / requests are open for art / To see my art, tag is #mine or #my art

Proof I’m the Awkwardest Person Around

My friend, Jenna, and I walk through the school hallways while performing extreme, drastic measures: she’s trying to pour her bag of Ruffles into my plate while I hand her my Hummus dip as we both exchange cups full of soda. Of course, we end up failing, and the bag of chips fall to the floor along with my plate, sending chips flying across the floor everywhere. Naturally, we scream like possessed banshees, because there goes our source of fuel to continue through the path to hell. Anyways, we’re about to book it, still carrying our cups of soda, when this extremely blessed looking male of another species walks by us and stops with the most adorable and concerned expression ever.

He asks, “Are you guys alright?” Jenna and I pipe up, “Yes, yes, yes” on repeat for about five seconds before we shut up. Our minds spin, literally screeching why is this Adonis talking to us?? Before we can book it out of there, the male goes onto his knees and starts individually picking up all the chips. Jenna and I are flat out stunned and our jaws hit the floor. Seeing no other choice, we join the Greek God on the floor and clean up our mess, stuffing the dirty chips back in the bag. When the ground is nearly clean, Jenna stands up, and the out of this world chiseled man and I make eye contact.

Time freezes, and slowly spins, and the beautiful X and Y chromosome body stretches out his hand. I stare at the tanned offering for a second before holding out my own hand. I clasp my hand around his and roughly give him a handshake, jerking our arms up and down. Then I pull my hand back, and straighten myself up, while black-haired muscular beast stares at me with the most confused expression. Jenna shrieks and drags me through the hallways, screeching in my ear, “Dumbass, he was trying to help you up not do the bro code on you. And you tell me chivalry is dead.” My brain is spinning while I internally scream at myself, while Jenna belts out strings of curses.

When I spare a glance back, the blessed stranger is still crouching on the floor in the middle of the hallways holding the dirty bag of chips with furrowed brows. My own insides lurch around as the lovely, large male stares at his hand. So yes, I gave him a handshake on the floor in the middle of the hallways with a dirty bag of chips, and I have never blushed so hard at school someone slap me I let the creatively crafted face go w h y a m I l i k e t h i s.

ok but my favorite giant/tiny dynamic is where the tiny is a super tough badass, they aren’t afraid of anything, get angry a lot, super sarcastic and deadpan, generally just really crabby, soulless and intimidating

and the giant is the shyest, sweetest person you could ever meet, they talk in the softest voice and are afraid of most things (but would never hurt anyone), kinda sad with loads of love in their heart nonetheless

ironically the tiny always ends up protecting their giant more than the giant protects them, and they view the giant as the cutest, most precious thing, while the giant always is awed by their tiny friend and how brave they are, and sees them as the bigger person

~~bonus points if the tiny is something super small like a fairy, or if the giant is actually several feet tall~~

thebootydiaries

It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. It’s Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before.

That changes today.

“Hey guys, what if…” I start to say.

Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldn’t even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadn’t I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore.

“What if you guys….. stopped killing people.“

Suddenly, silence.

1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. "Please.” I say with a broken voice.

He is moved.

“Aight”.

thebootydiaries

My fingers are almost shaking as I carefully type in the ten digit phone number I have had memorized my entire life. The buttons on my home phone seem to glow a bit more dull, and even the ringing of the phone from the other end seems to be agonized, almost as if the world is telling me to hang up. But I refuse to give up; I can’t let my lily-white friends down. Not again.

The phone rings once. Twice. Three times. Still no answer. Just as I am about to hang up, there is a click.

All I can hear is heavy breathing.

“Hello….” I say quietly, my voice shaking. “Is….. Is this Muslim?”

There was a long silence before I heard a voice answer “ya lol”.

“I was thinking………..” I begin cautiously. “Maybe murder is…………bad.”

“Habibi, I…..I don’t understand. What are you trying to say….?” The voice seems shaken.

“What if…….world peace is good and killing people is…………not good”

He lets out an audible gasp. “Are you saying ISIS is…….bad?”

“Maybe death is…….not good.” I continue. My heart is racing. I remind myself that I am saving thousands of lives, and inhale.

The silence from the other end of the line is almost deafening. He seemed to be thinking, as if he had never considered this idea before in his life. Truly I had opened his heart and his mind. This…. This could end terrorism.

“Muslim….Please.” I whisper.

I hear a tear roll down his cheek, with my Muslim Communication Hearing™ and hold my breath as he finally breathes out his next words.

“Kk.”