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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
angst-oclock taylortut
safaia-uta

Okay so this prompt is for you @taylor-tut <3

Imagine: Lance catches a cold but Does Not Want Anyone To Know. He comes up with ready excuses for any and all questions directed at him regarding his health, and he thinks he’s got everyone fooled. However, literally everyone knows basically from the beginning, they’re just humoring him because that’s less annoying than confronting him… until his deteriorating health gets in the way of a mission.

**Excuses including but not limited to**

Lance: *sneezes*
Keith: You got a cold? 
Lance: *huffy* Nah dude I just woke up and I always sneeze in the morning, don’t you?
__
Lance: *struggling not to fall asleep while everyone’s taking turns training*
Shiro: Hey buddy, if you’re not feeling well you can go rest a while.
Lance: *hurriedly sits up* What? Me? I’m fine! I’m the picture of health, see? *flexes*
Shiro: …you were falling asleep, Lance
Lance: Nonono I’m just bored see, when’s it gonna be my turn??
__
Lance: *pokes at his food*
Hunk: Hey if you’re not gonna eat that I’ll take it off your hands *hopeful grin*
Pidge: Wow, Lance, you usually inhale your food after a mission, you must be sick or something
Lance: o.o *starts shoveling food in his mouth* *mouth full* I d’knw wtyr tlkng’bt *swallows thickly (read:painfully)* I was jus’ trying to decide what to eat first y’know??
__
Lance: *nearly suffocates with a rib-crunching coughing fit that blindsides him in the bathroom one morning*
Keith: *toothbrush forgotten in his hand as he looks on in horror* Dude, seriously, go back to bed!! *trying to mask concern with disgust*
Lance: *wheezing* N-Nah I’m good, j-just choked on my spit hahahah–….
__

Bonus if, when finally confronted by the team, Lance gets so worked up trying to defend himself that he collapses from the fever and Keith has to carry him back to his room (grumbling and scowling but V. Worried!!)

taylor-tut

Omgggg you should totally write a full fic of this I would DIE it’s so good!

angst-oclock lattekitten
draconym

I think one of the funniest things I’ve accidentally taught my parrot is yelling “WHAT?”

The best part is that if he says something weird and and someone else says “what???” he usually repeats what he just said.

Like just now, I was cooking in the kitchen and he heard me boiling water so he asked “you wanna noodle?” but I couldn’t quite hear him so I yelled “WHAT” and he repeated “you wanna noodle?”

image

Mostly he just likes yelling it, though.

draconym

Less funny things I’ve accidentally taught my parrot:

  • to make the smoke detector noise every time someone makes toast
  • to make gross eating noises at us when he wants us to share our food
  • to announce that he is about to poop just about every time he poops
  • to demand payment in the form of peanuts for every instance of good behavior
  • no seriously he says “I get a peanut” every single time and gets VERY MAD if not given a peanut
anonymus-maximus-er

……LESS funny??!??????

goldenheartedrose

I’m reading that in a “oh god what have I done” kind of way.

Source: draconym