1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
light-of-eyllwe spatialdecay

Aliens but they take shit too seriously

ate-wapakels69

Human: the day i run a marathon is the day i die.

Alien: *makes note to keep human away from marathons*

Weeks later

Human: Just got back from a marathon!

Alien: *SCREECH*

spacefaringviking

Human: Dude, when you hear this you’ll shit bricks!

Alien: *Eye tendrils flex* I-i-i’d prefer if you wouldnt tell me, thank you.

thereisnoneedtocallmesir

Human when it is hot: “I will fucking fight the sun”

Alien: “Please don’t. And you know that that isn’t possible”

-

Human: “If you say that one more time I will kill you”

Alien: “REQUESTING BACK UP, THE HUMAN WANT TO KILL EACH OTHER, I DON’T KNOW WHY”

-

Human: “Quit scaring me like that, you gave me a heart attack”

Alien: “Why aren’t you going to the hospital yet?”

capri-sunqueen

“Oh god when I show my parents my report card they are going to kill me!!!”

“CONTROL CENTRE YES WE NEED ALL EYES ON THE HUMAN’S BIRTHLINGS I THINK THEY ARE PLANNING A HOMICIDE-”

onceuponaphan-lockedtardis

I laughed waaayyyy too hard at the ‘eye tendrils twitching’

pipermccloud

“Its raining cats and dogs!”

“I don’t see any of your domesticated animals falling from the sky..” 

cynicaldeino

“I could eat a horse.”

“But, that doesn’t seem possible due to proportional differences.”

abbiegoth

image
light-of-eyllwe janticsantics

have you guys ever noticed how pretty the bi flag is???

how-late-am-i

Like, look at it

image

It looks like a sunset

image

just

image

#the sky is bi confirmed

formerfundie

You wanna get people to hate you? Just claim the whole fucking sky belongs to your favorite kink.

femslashtrash

Anyways…i cant believe the whole sky belongs to bisexuals (excluding rainbows those belong to gays )

ithotyouknew2

My kink is being bi

Source: how-late-am-i