1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
pisces-royalty merriionn
silverhawk

mdlksdfsd my fave thing is when ppl outside of florida ask “how do alligators even get in ur pools??? how do they get into ur yards???”

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alligators can climb fences. they do this a lot

silverhawk

@ the replies - absolutely alligators can climb fences!! chain link fences are easier for them bc they can get a grip on them, but yep alligators climb fences to get into peoples pools + canals + backyards

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i would like to add that alligators wont chase you/attack you unless you provoke them, but yes they absolutely climb fences and ladders and basically everything all the time

lemonsharks

Why does ANYONE live in Florida?

taraljc

it’s a trap

Source: silverhawk
angst-oclock longbluetongue
a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy

I can’t believe that the government is watching our every move and yet they refused to warn me that I was about to walk into a Panera where THREE of my exes were working together.

Hey, the government? You could’ve texted me. You’ve got GPS; they’ve got their jobs on Facebook; I know you know we dated. You knew, you have the technology, and you just let me walk in there, make eye contact with them, and walk out without ordering anything. Fuck you. I hate this country.

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy

My favourite thing about the tags and replies on this post is that they’re full of people legitimately slut-shaming me for having dated three people who ended up working at the same place. Like I’m some compulsive bread whore. Like I just shoved a whole Panera up my ass one day.

Do straight people not understand the small town phenomena where 1.) there are a maximum of ten LGBT+ people that you’re even vaguely compatible with, and so you all just end up dating each other at one point or another, and 2.) word gets around that the manager of a specific business isn’t a blatant homophobe, and so it ends up becoming staffed entirely by LGBT+ people despite not being an inherently gay establishment? You guys don’t just have, like, that one Taco Bell where everyone is a lesbian?

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy

My new favourite part about the tags on this post is everyone either tagging this as stuff like, “we don’t have a lesbian taco bell but we have a trans petsmart” and “oh you mean the five guys where everyone’s bi yeah we have that”, or straight cis people being all, “UGH THE GAYS ALWAYS THINK THEY’RE SO SPECIAL. THERE ARE BUSINESSES WHERE EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT, TOO,” as though anyone would ever come out to someone who felt like that comment necessary.

Source: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
angst-oclock kevinkevinson
squiddleprincess

From now on I will only accept love triangles if they end in:

  1. Polyamory
  2. The main character rejecting both love interests and staying single
  3. The two love interests giving up on the main character because how hard is it to make a damn choice?
pyotr-kirillovich-bezukhov

4. The two love interests realizing they love each other more than the main character and the main character getting together with someone that wasn’t even part of the triangle proper.

castiel-knight-of-hell

5. All three characters realizing they’re better as friends and going go kart racing

gotham-mother-of-monsters

6. Main character is in a loveless political royal marriage and her philandering yet handsome husband doesn’t want her until halfway through the book, in which time she’s fallen in love with a brave commoner boy. The conflict is resolved when they both die and she goes on to rule her new kingdom with grace and compassion.

handsoffthegoodstuff

7. Main character Frankensteins the shit out of the two love interests because why not combine the best parts that you love in each?

identicaltwinhalfbrother

8. It was a whacky shenanigan involving twins, wherein both suitors thought the object of their affection was 1 person in the crux of a love triangle, but they were both only after the respective twin all along.

Source: aceofsquiddles