awkwardmiraculousphotos
technoskates
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angst-oclock
yourplayersaidwhat
Beautiful exchange between me and an NPC
I was playing a Human Fighter named Seth in a campaign last week. We rolled into a town and found out some bad things about the mayor. Some townspeople hated the mayor, some didn’t care.
We rolled into a carpenter’s shop hoping to get plans for the mayors mansion but we were unsure about how he felt about the mayor.
Me: “So, Im a lieutenant of the Rhotonian Army, do I get any discounts on floor plans? …Maybe floor plans to the mayors mansion?”
Duncan, The Carpenter: “Oh the Rhotonian army? I have much respect for it. For you 32 gold for the plans instead of 50…What do you need these plans for may I ask?”
Warren (Half Elf Sorcerer), OOC: “Ok we dont know how he feels about the mayor. What do we do?”
Black Death (Tiefling Ranger), OOC: “We should try and ask him about different things about the town and the mayor and see how he reacts”
Me, in character to Duncan: WE’RE PLANNING UHHHH A *cough* coup
Everyone, including the DM, loses it
DM: “Ok straight up I was gonna make him love the mayor but that was so not slick that Im just gonna give it to you guys”
angst-oclock
longbluetongue
My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.
When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.
What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!
I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D
She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:
Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”
I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.
New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night:
She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.
And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.
ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe
ruinedchildhood
