Fantastic Four (2005)
Hancock: *stabs someone to death the first time you walk into goodneighbor*
The sole survivor:

All I want…. is to see lance and Keith hug…… please…… it’s what they deserve….
I’m in THE most insane predicament, details forthcoming
Literally like brace yourself…..my friend wants me to hook up with his dad because last night his dad said he might be bi and I’m this guy’s only gay friend

Further evidence:

oh my fucking god
this is what a real ally looks like





