Hancock: *stabs someone to death the first time you walk into goodneighbor*
The sole survivor:

All I want…. is to see lance and Keith hug…… please…… it’s what they deserve….
I’m in THE most insane predicament, details forthcoming
Literally like brace yourself…..my friend wants me to hook up with his dad because last night his dad said he might be bi and I’m this guy’s only gay friend

Further evidence:

oh my fucking god
this is what a real ally looks like
hunk, who knows nothing about motorcycles, trying to bond with keith: so…your motorcycle! what…uh….what brand…flavor…type….is it?
keith: it’s a hotwheeler 420 double x with a high voltage engine and a horsepower of 100 :)
hunk, visibly crying: what color is it
Sometimes I just ignore anon hate because theres a proverb I learnt in a Nigerian movie that said.
‘You cannot run naked after a mad man in the street after he has taken your clothes away from you because the public will not know who is the mad person between the two of you’
I feel like this proverb was based on firsthand experience.




