hes manspreading



I had a dream where Thanos was fighting Deadpool and he used The Snap™ but since it only killed a random 50% of the universe Deadpool survived by chance EVERY SINGLE TIME. He kept using it until they were the only two people left in the universe and eventually Thanos just gave up because there was a 50/50 chance he’d kill himself and Deadpool had already survived that long.
keith: i’m gay alexa teleport me to my boyfriend
keith’s wolf: *sends him to lance’s room*
lance, chilling on his bed: *gets squashed by keith* what the f-
keith: hi lance
me nervously opening an email i just got from my old creative writings class teacher titled Class Isn’t Over Folks that he sent at exactly 1:25am in the morning on a Monday

what the fresh hell
this is such a golden opportunity omfg i need to know what happens next