royal-raccoon
fluidityandgiggles
wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
Wear a wig.
Contact lenses .
Change your accent .
Change Hand when writing .
Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa .
Contour the hell outta your face.
Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.
Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away
Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show
Y'all suspect af😂
*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*
Make sure you set up a solid alibi
Pay for everything in cash
Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police
Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.
Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.
all this info is good for writing
but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed
ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone
Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.
Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same
Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)
This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.
royal-raccoon
fadeout-againn
What food group is honey what the fuck is this stuff
Apparently its categorized as raw meat by the FDA, which is cursed information if I’ve ever seen it.
royal-raccoon
micha3lwitha3
Am I the only one whose internet addiction started with my parents not letting me fucking go anywhere
kid: hey can i go outside and exercise and make some friends
parents: no
kid: okay then
kid: *relies on the internet for literally all social interaction and entertainment because there’s nothing else to do in the house*
parents: get off your phone. youre on the internet too much. you’re addicted. it’s unhealthy. children shouldnt be doing this. why dont you have any friends
Ah look it’s a summary of our entire generation
That’s EXACTLY how it started for me
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
illmamnim
royal-raccoon
alright I’m not sure how this works but here we go. so my friend saw this post:
and didn’t think much of it until she got a text saying the very thing the post was warning about.
SHE’S 14 GOD DAMN YEARS OLD. PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SIGNAL BOOST THIS! THAT LINK COULD POTENTIALLY BE DANGEROUS. PLEASE SHARE THIS AND PLEASE, PLEASE BE SAFE & CAREFUL. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
i got one of these, please stay safe everyone! i had never even heard of this app before and so i ignored it on my principle that only saved contacts get responses, but keep safe you guys!!
oh my god, I got one of these too. i was very confused by it so i didnt click the link or anything but please stay safe everyone!!
I got one too??? I ignored it thank god
Oh fuck
yaboybokuto
letlancelive
shirogane-atlas
ruinedchildhood
