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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
pepsi-meth dogsanddigimon
hatingongodot

my dad was DEEPLY offended when i offered to help him set up the switch, saying things like “how old do you think i am” and “i’ve been playing video games since before you were born” etc etc. i didn’t mean to offend him, it’s just that the last console he’s touched was like, the gamecube back when it first came out! things have changed since then. we have touch screen now.

anyway he’s had a bit of a chip on his shoulder since then, and so he basically destroyed Breath of the Wild and left me in he dust. he found more shrines, korok seeds, and armor than i did in like, half the time, and he got very pleased when i told him i didn’t know about certain areas or quests.

i’ll admit i underestimated him because he always seemed to struggle when playing Ocarina of Time back when we lived together when i was like, eight. in hindsight i realize he struggled because he didn’t speak english very well and couldn’t understand most of the on-screen explanations. once he set the language to korean he was blazing through botw so fast he was fighting lynels before i’d even gotten to the point where i felt comfortable with lizalfos.

anyway i’m sick of him rubbing it in so for christmas i’m getting him dark souls. see how much you like challenges then, pops

the-darkest-of-souls

Please update us on how this goes I need to know

Source: hatingongodot
pepsi-meth dogsanddigimon
meridiangrimm

I want to read a story about a wizard whose only spell is “fix this”, but the specially-crafted magic takes their intent into account.  "Fix this" can mean repairing the wheel on the adventurers’ cart or healing a broken arm or “fixing” a lock so that it’s in what the wizard considers the “correct” (unlocked) position.  Imagine the other mages getting increasingly frustrated as the wizard stubbornly refuses to learn any other spells.

meridiangrimm

Wizard: *points at a canyon* Fix this

Other casters: That’s not really how spells -

Wizard: Oh look, one of our blankets is now a magic carpet.  Guess we don’t need a bridge.

Casters: How -

meridiangrimm

Wizard: *points at logs that won’t catch fire* Fix this

Other casters: There’s been too much rain, it won’t -

Wizard:  I fixed it so that it’s in the same state it was yesterday.  Someone here knows how to start a fire, right?

Casters: What -

meridiangrimm

Wizard: *points at charging dragon*: Fix this

Other casters: THAT’S NOT HOW MAGIC WORKS YOU IDIOT WE’RE GOING TO DIE

Dragon: *coughs* Did you just… cure my intestinal problems?  I’ve been trying to stop breathing fire for weeks, but it just kept spilling out, and every time I tried to ask for help, I burned everything down.  I won’t forget this kindness.

Casters: *ripping their hair out* H O W

Source: meridiangrimm
pepsi-meth shade-nightingale
shadenightengale

Villain: [doing villainy things]

Chat Noir: [bursts through the door, takes out 15 henchmen and an innocent pillar]

Ladybug: [zips in from above, tackling several more bad guys]

Rena: [shatters the window as she flies in, doing a sick mid air flip]

Queen Bee: [drops from the ceiling behind the villain, pops gum]

Carapace: [rolls in on wheelies 15 minutes late with Starbucks]