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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
chocmarss fickleminder

MERMAID AU’S

thethoughtrepository

  • “I am a simple mermaid trying to get a simple college education and you fUCKERS KEEP PREVENTING THAT BY THROWING WATER BALLOONS AT ME FIVE MINUTES BEFORE CLASS SO IM STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING QUAD FOR A HOUR UNTIL IT WEARS OFF”
  • “Alternatively, I was skipping class and saw you trying to drag you and your huge ass tail through the courtyard–do you need help? I guess I can carry you to class if you’d like, though I’m not so sure this was worth being called ‘Prince Eric’ for the next two weeks”
  • “I knew there was a reason why you were so good in marine biology and why you always had to one-up me in the exam scores yOU’RE A MERMAID THIS IS SO UNFAIR IM TURNING YOU IN FOR CHEATING CHEATER”
  • “I don’t know why i thought bringing you to a sushi bar was a good idea, i thought seeing all the live fish in the tanks would have been nice but i forgot about all the dead ones after”
  • “I’m the mermaid so of course im always picked to go on diving missions by you biased advantage taking pricks, and you know what? i don’t care what you say, its dark and scary and theres something down there that i have never forgotten why do you think i stay on land”
  • “apparently due to your mystical sea creature powers you have the ability to mimic any sound you hear, so you know what means friend?? VOICE IMPRESSIONS! MORGAN FREEMAN GO”
  • “I know its late and i dont know you but i hear you can talk to fish and im worried my goldfish is depressed”
  • “I take my showers before bed and I always end up scaring the shit out of your boy/girlfriend while dragging my two ton tail to the kitchen for some ice cream at 11 at night”
Source: thescriptorium reference writing reference
chocmarss joannekingisjoking
firebreathingeli

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

actualscience

i do bite my thumb, sir

firebreathingeli

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

actualscience

is the law on our side if i say ay?

firebreathingeli

No

actualscience

no, sir, i do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I bite my thumb, sir

firebreathingeli

Do you quarrel, sir?

actualscience

quarrel, sir? no sir

if you do, sir, i am for you: i serve as good a man as you

firebreathingeli

No better

actualscience

well, sir

firebreathingeli

DOST THOU WANT TO FUCKING GO, SIR?

actualscience

DOST THOU THINK THOU CAN FUCKING TAKE ME, BRO?

firebreathingeli

DOST THOU EVEN HOIST? OUT TO THE COURT YARD, WITH HASTE.  

classannalampost

The Shakespeare fandom is out of control

Source: firebreathingeli Shakespeare
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